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Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
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Review
"Robert Karen has a rare capacity for presenting complex psychological ideas in language that is accessible to nonspecialists....Karen's book makes fascinating reading and constitutes a considerable achievement."--Contemporary Psychology"Robert Karen...is one of our smartest and most accessible guides to the arcane world of psychoanalytic theory and research."--Elle
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About the Author
Robert Karen is a clinical psychologist in private practice and an award-winning author. In addition to two previous books, he has written articles for The Atlantic, New York magazine, Mirabella, The Nation, and The Yale Review. He is Assistant Clinical Professor at the Derner Institute of Advance Psychological Studies, Adelphi University.
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Product details
Paperback: 512 pages
Publisher: Oxford University Press; Reprint edition (April 23, 1998)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0195115015
ISBN-13: 978-0195115017
Product Dimensions:
9 x 1.4 x 5.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
91 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#59,127 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
If you are just interested in learning the nuts and bolts of attachment quickly, this book isn't for you. This book is partially a biography and history book. It discusses the lives of the people responsible for creating and evolving the attachment discipline, and it discusses the history of major developments in the ever-evolving theoretical framework. What it doesn't do, however, is go deep into the actual substance of the body of accepted attachment theory. You will get a pretty good sense of the existing theory, but mostly you will understand more about how the theories came about more than what the theories actually are. The second half of the book is better regarding explaining attachment theory's actual tenets, especially the appendix, and there is a bibliography that has a lot of suggested books and studies for learning more. However if one's quest is to develop a full, working knowledge of attachment theory you may want to get supplementing books.
My favorite book. After reading it, I am a radical proponent of Attachment Theory. The first psychological theory with statistical and experimental proof. The book is a fascinating history of the emergence of a psychological theory, full of sensational anecdotes and stories of vindication. The book also works as a heartfelt explanation of the science behind how and how much children are bonded with their guardians. This book is about our first experience with love which informs our lives and identities.
If you love someone that has a troubled past and they are interested in reconciling or you think you could help them, this is a great book. This book is not just for people with a "troubled" past, however. It is a book that explains why we act the way we are, why we treat other people certain way or why we are even attracted to certain personalities.It also explains why early childhood is so crucial. From depression, to different habits, this book gives you an understanding of what determines certain behaviors in our lives.It is truly a shame that there are so many selfish and careless parents out there. If you're going to have a kid you and your partner need to agree to stick around and provide a solid and stable home for at least 10-15 years. If you are unsure about that, don't have a KID! I am convinced that we have so many screwed up people in the world (or a big majority) because of situations similar to the ones presented in this book.Enough ranting. If you or a loved one wants to understand themselves, understand why they are the way they are, this book is for you. You can't become the person you want to be or can be, if you don't reconcile with the person you were raised to be.
This book is deep and chocked full of so much vital information in the key and critical aspect for becoming a parent who "knows" what their baby wants in all situations. I have heard many times from different parents, "If I could just figure out what's wrong with this baby, I'd do something to keep her from crying." Parents and babies who are ATTACHED have learned "what the baby wants or needs" by being consistent and available and allow that instinct to kick in, as it were. There is much communication coming from extremely young infants, and if a parent is willing to listen and learn what is going on, the parent/child bond becomes very deeply entwined . . . the relationship is off to a rousing good start! These early months are critical for esteem-building and personality-forming structures, and this type of read could help all parents immensely in the manner in which the child views themselves and how they fit into the world.
I purchased this book for my developmental childhood psychology class. I am not a big reader as most books dont hold my interest; however this book was really interesting. It gave great insights in how a child should be raised and the consequences of what might happen if a parent is not equipped to handle it. The chapters arent that big, about 20 pages per chapter. Easy to read, no crazy big words. Great book if you need one for a psych. Childhood class.
I agree with everyone's positive reviews, I just want to give people who are going to purchase it a HEADS UP regarding an error in mine. My book went from page 324, back to page 301, then had all its pages up to page 324, then jumped to page 349. So there was a HUGE GLITCH on someone's part and I'm missing a section of this comprehensive, comprehendible, and really enjoyable overview of attachment theory. It took me years to finally get to reading it so I assume it's too late to return for a proper version but it's still so good I have to give it 5/5 stars.
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and love this book. A great read, scientific and practical. Great book about how our understanding of human attachment has matured over the past century. Packed with information about how we develop our capacity to attach, to love, to live in society, supported with scientific research. Great information for proper parenting of infants. Ainsworth conducted studies measuring infant attachment, from securely attached to avoidant. The mothers who responded quickly and warmly to their babies cries during the early months of life tended to have securely attached babies at the end of the first year, and the babies cried less. Thank you, Dr. Karen, for advocacy of of a simple, warm parenting style, which is backed by research. So strange that there are so many parenting books out there based on personal opinion, and that we have gotten away from simple warm parenting, which is modeled in more communal cultures.
Kind of wordy but I get the point. It helped me view people in a different light.
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